Tis the season for holiday parties and it seems as though every straight girl in L.A. doesn't have a date to their company party. So why not bring a gay guy? That gay guy being me.

Last night I was lucky enough to accompany my friend to her annual holiday party and boy what an open bar and "Crank Dat Soulja Boy" can create. I have never seen so many white people rush to the dancefloor. Not to mention one guy requested the freaking song 3 TIMES! And the stupid DJ played it 3 TIMES. You guys this song is really old and not even that great! For those of you who don't know what the song is or have been living in a polygomy colony on the Arizona/Utah border, here's a link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpocrqvP2Yg.

When Soulja Boy Tell'em came up with the dance and the song I bet all he could think of was, "Damn I am gonna get a lot of p***y." To his dismay all he got was a bunch of drunk white people doing something not so short of gay line dancing. To further my point, I made up a list of the top 5 people and places you wil find this dance/song:

1. Drunk IT people at corperate Christmas parties
2. Drunk valley girls on the corner in front of LeDeux.
3. Closetted frat guys after a beer funnel.
4. Overweight white girls on youtube.
5. 13 year olds at dance recitals.

Oh and let's not forget what this song is really about. There is a rumor going around that the song is about c***ing on a girl's back because she won't f**k you. I encourage every soccer mom in Arcadia whose van full of tweens say, "MA-ommmmm turn it up!" to think about this when the song comes on the radio. With that said, I am going to be the first person to say, "Give this song back to black people." I think it's about time. I don't even want Latino people to get in on this, just black people. They deserve to have their song back and in it's place I leave only the Macarena and the Electric Slide for white people to dance to after 7 martinis at the company holiday party.

Happy holidays everyone and dance responsibly.

Sincerely,
Soulja Boy Chris

Me: Damn that's the kind of shit White people do. They carve squash and serve soup out of it.
Roomates: But aren't YOU white?
Me: Yes and no.

Let's face it. White people do things certain ways and other cultures do things other ways.

What spawned this conversation? A Vons commerical which shows a bunch of little kids carving butternut squashes together. Are they making a pie? Making "squash bread"? NO, they are simply carving them out to serve soup from. This just seems wasteful to me, pointless maybe? I don't know, but I really think that White people are the only type of people who would get satisfaction from this. I say this because I'm pretty sure this was marketted at White America because the family was White(although I think there was an ethnic kid in there somewhere). I'm thinking if I came to my Hispanic grandmother and said, "Let's eat soup out of a squash, " she would say, "We're not going to eat it? Why?" If my Hispanic mother saw this commercial she would probably say, "You know that's so friggin' stupid. And WASTEFUL!"

I agree.

I guess I'm not saying that ALL white people would do this. I'm just saying that there are certain types of people in the media who would carve a squash and serve soup out of it and they are probably people like Martha Stewart, who happens to be white.

I think most of this really stems from my grandfather's nickname for me: "calabasa" which means "squash" in Spanish.

Bottom Line: Being half Hispanic and half White has it's benefits, ragging on White people in a commericial is one of them.